carving out the space and time

time flies by in a blur as i continued to cruise on carefreely. times when i make the effort to dock and take stock, i get a shock at how time can be relative. it's only been four months since i started a few phase of my life, learning, absorbing, growing. 2 months since i've stumbled into love, and grown and learnt even more. it feels alot longer than months. feels like years. oh my. the intensity of it all seems to accelerate my flurry of emotions and ushered me into a whole new realm.

Love is tender, love is sweet. Love is also too elusive to demand that it fulfill every emotional need. i've come to appreciate and yearn even more, the stirring of the soul, the broadening of the mind, the elevation of living on a higher plane. Of absorbing and generating deep ideas and emotions that transcend the mundane everydayness of life(yes, sadly, the daily loveydoveyness does not satisfy completely). there needs to be a space carved out and preserved for the individual, to refresh, to dream, to explore, the deeper meaning and mystery of existence.

I've started to love the phrase "carve out the time and space". there's an artsy and whimsical ring to it, as if lovingly constructing a work of art for oneself. I just need to figure out what best to fill it up with. solitude? bright blue skies, seas and cotton clouds?

new dawning

it has been almost 2 months since i've waved singlehood goodbye.. and yet it feels a little uncertain, as my carefree heart continues to wander, drifting off once in a while. some days i have to consciously tell myself that there's someone else in my life that i should factor in when i make decisions and appointments. other days it seemed as if the world is my personal candy shop and i have nothing else in life to fight for. it's weird. now i understand why sappy love songs always harp on the theme of "is this really love" ever so often.

I have to say that not all is perfect, and it hasn't reached the point of being a stable relationship. in many ways it feels very compartmentalised, as if it's a separate part of my life from my friends and family and interests. i have been thinking alot, too much in fact, and bore considerable stress trying to figure out where this relationship is headed and whether it's a mistake and i should bail. fighting all the inner demons and insecurities. some days i really want to just give up.

yet when he holds my hand and i pray for us, i feel so safe and secure. I then see him for who he is. the solid rock of support that is ever constant.. and an awareness that God is watching over us.