being a princess

A good princess may occasionally let her guard down but only to emphasize how impeccable she generally holds herself. Even the noblest princess may occasionally let us see the chink in her purposeful armour, as a reminder that she is, finally human, all too human. In famine, flood or war she will speedily hitch up her skirts, muckin with the best of them, for the common good. At such times it may become clear that the most glamourous character traits which the princess personifies are courage, purpose and intelligence.

A Princess Tale.

birthday loot from soulmate. i know in my heart that it's true.
that being a princess has everything to do with the interior.
that we were created to be princesses.
thank you for that truth that has been forgotten, and then regained.

i'm still in the midst of celebrating my 21st. very grateful of course, that the gifts and well wishes are still pouring in. some have done so much and others have pretended to forget, but in my heart i found myself saying a silent "thank you" to them anyway, for having been part of my 21 years. some a greater part, others an earlier part, still others, little episodes that happened and then nearly forgotten. but i remember them all.

some memories have stood the test of time and denial and retained much authenticity. the feelings revisited and i have to unwillingly admit that things i had done or said, they are all true. that i had been honest with myself, more honest than the present me will admit.

because, the present me has the hindsight to hypocritically deny my past, to say that the past was nothing but a montage of foolishness and misguided decisions.

but no, the Lord has been very honest in dealing with me, and when i look back at my past squarely in the face, i know that all of me was true. i embrace and accept all of that and hope that as each of you is reading this, forgive me if i had hurt you and believe me that i've tried to be as authentic as i could have been.

thank you for the memories.

and sometimes, living in the consciousness that i'm creating new memories is exciting. i know what i'll remember. jeelee giving me mini lectures during PT, therie with her whole repertoire of endearing idiosyncrasies, jian and his cheem theories, me wincing at kc's comments, amanda and her kewl new look, qinghan forever saying that we should meet up someday, me in the solace of my favourite Central Library, me rushing around school, meeting people along corridors who brighten my day/make me wince/make me detour/make my heart race/make me shout a big hello...