Winning into Freedom

If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed —John 8:36

If there is even a trace of individual self-satisfaction left in us, it always says, "I can’t surrender," or "I can’t be free." But the spiritual part of our being never says "I can’t"; it simply soaks up everything around it. Our spirit hungers for more and more. It is the way we are built. We are designed with a great capacity for God, but sin, our own individuality, and wrong thinking keep us from getting to Him. God delivers us from sin— we have to deliver ourselves from our individuality. This means offering our natural life to God and sacrificing it to Him, so He may transform it into spiritual life through our obedience.

God pays no attention to our natural individuality in the development of our spiritual life. His plan runs right through our natural life. We must see to it that we aid and assist God, and not stand against Him by saying, "I can’t do that." God will not discipline us; we must discipline ourselves. God will not bring our "arguments . . . and every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5 )— we have to do it. Don’t say, "Oh, Lord, I suffer from wandering thoughts." Don’t suffer from wandering thoughts. Stop listening to the tyranny of your individual natural life and win freedom into the spiritual life.

"If the Son makes you free . . . ." Do not substitute Savior for Son in this passage. The Savior has set us free from sin, but this is the freedom that comes from being set free from myself by the Son. It is what Paul meant in Galatians 2:20 when he said, "I have been crucified with Christ . . . ." His individuality had been broken and his spirit had been united with his Lord; not just merged into Him, but made one with Him. ". . . you shall be free indeed"— free to the very core of your being; free from the inside to the outside. We tend to rely on our own energy, instead of being energized by the power that comes from identification with Jesus.

I had a prolonged session with God last night. on how to love people truly. esp when it comes to guys that either i have an interest in or have an interest in me. it's one tricky area where it's easy to stumble and like what therie says, it can be source of temptation whether or not i'm attached and the only way to fortify myself is with the truth of God. God and me have come up with 2 simple steps to love people (though i think it's more of God's idea and me agreeing. )

1. Pray for them continually.
for them to know Christ, to have salvation, to experience God's saving grace. Each name that i pray through, Lord i know you have ordained for me to intercede for.

2. Pray for myself continually
to guard my heart, as well as for the Holy Spirit to search my heart and motivations. I will not waltz towards any guy without being sure that i can love God more than him and him more than myself.

Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight with evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13

Love is to protect the other party. Love is to trust that God will take care of everyone of us; i do not have to play "Messiah" to save anyone. Love is hope, that i look to God to make things right. Love will cause me to persevere in all of the above.

I'm a Cyborg but That's Ok

Is there necessarily a trade off between artistic value and understand-ability in a film? i wish i was enough of a film critic to appreciate "artistic films". Right now I'm just trying to make sense of films that seem to have alot more going beneath the surface.

The first time i got an intriguing feeling that a film is deeper than it seems is when i watched Big Fish by Tim Burton a couple of years ago. Instinctively i felt there was deep symbolism behind the vivid colours, breathtaking cinematography, vibrant characters, touching father-son thread and tall tales. yet as the few of us sat in Cine BK post-movie a few hours, talking about it, i just couldn't put a finger to my thoughts.

I just didn't have the mental capability to read into films. uber frustrating then. but till now it remains one of my favourite movies. it's "un-readability" just adds on to the fascination somehow. To me, that's the mark of a good movie. one that invites and entices, yet retaining a little of that elusiveness that keeps you wanting to revisit it time and time again. i still mull over the movie once in a while when we talk about good movies. (but no, i still haven't figured out the mystery of it yet.)

I'm a Cyborg but That's Ok is a different kind altogether. I'm one of those who watched it on a Sunday Night cooped up at home because it's Rain movie debut. bah. sue me. But it is a good watch. Although mildly disturbing for one (me) so unaccustomed to watching artistic films, especially when i didn't expect more than light fluffy cotton candy. i got a modified candy-eclair instead. (i never developed a liking for those modern candy-chocolate things anyhow. they're just plain weird to my taste buds.) I think one main reason why you can find so many bad reviews both online and by word of mouth is because the movie was marketed as a light-hearted romantic comedy and people who watch it will get the feeling they've been cheated by the time the credits roll. [hey Rain+mental asylum+girl who thinks she's a cyborg just doesn't instinctively equate to ARTISTIC film.]

You've been warned.

It just isn't light-hearted romantic fluff. although there are some parts that delivers that warm fluffy love-conquers-all theme, those scenes are promptly succeeded by emotionally driven scenes, flashbacks or discussions with the psychiatrist that shed a little more light into the darkness of the inner worlds of the characters. just when you thought you had the movie figured out, it leads you unsuspectingly down a winding path somewhere else. and then it oscillates back. yet it wasn't that confusing; not after you get used to suspending your logic and rationality for a while, to find that the logic and rationality behind the film is of a different kind.

One that doesn't communicate with you well, because it's said in a foreign language. you can instinctively figure out that its deeper than you can understand, but you're handicapped by that language barrier. so you remain an arm's length away from understanding it completely. some throw their hands up in the air and dismisses the conversation, some pretend to understand while they smile and nod, some others pick up a dictionary (ie. search for interpretations, reviews, dialogue with others)

That's my take on "artistic" films.

I choose the third category for this film.
This movie has to be deeper than what an average viewer can gather, i thought. So i was pretty glad to have my hopes confirmed in the "guide" posted at veoh.com. i appreciate the movie much more, now that i can at least join the dots. the digestion and reflection will have to come later. Nevertheless, without this contribution, i think i'll still be HUH?! hours after watching it:

Cyborg Girl is harder to understand for three reasons: it's setting, it's depth, and a poorly executed ending. The setting in a mental hospital will automatically make it harder to understand, since the pattern of thought from the people we get to know is different from ours. That is why the writer/director left us clear paths to follow so we can watch the pattern that they were creating. Understanding the patterns they show us is difficult, because they are more advanced. This movie is attempting to go where artistic works have gone before, such as, "The Truman Show" or "Sense and Sensibility". Like those movies, what lies beneath the surface is what really counts.

Movie Genre: Some people think that this movie is hard to categorize. I disagree. At its heart, the story is a romance. Along the way, however, the movie does explore several themes.

Movie Themes: Each character we encounter in the movie is developing a theme necessary to understand the messages that the director and writer are trying to show (tell) you. They are not there just to be "random". There is a purpose for each one of them. There are so many of them, but here are some of the more important ones ... 1. Cyborg Girl --- She sees her condition in life, being a cyborg girl, not as a choice, but something she cannot change. It is through her eyes that we see the director and writer wanting us to look at the working world as "robotlike". There is no personal identity. There is no personal expression. Instead, in this movie we find more of those in the mental hospital, than we do in the real (working) world. Instead of working to get money so she can eat so she can work, she desperately wants purpose in her machine-like life.

2. Bi (Rain) Character --- He knows that he has a problem. When he believes that it is for the best, he checks himself into the mental hospital for help. He knows that some things can change, but has only a little hope that it really will. His character is focused on something close to Cyborg Girl's. She wants purpose. He doesn't want to be forgotten. He wants to be noticed and valued. The rejection, as he sees it, by his father and especially his mother proves to him that he is insignificant, or as he puts it, "invisible". The judge at his trial simply reinforces this idea when he says that he will vanish away into a dot. To be a speck, is to be invisible, unnoticed, and unvalued. We know that he is able to overcome this to some degree, because he later buries the item he carries around that holds himself under his mother.

3. Elastic Pants Man --- He appears here and there throughout the movie. He always emphasizes that life endings are really just beginnings. Life goes into full circle. The Elastic Band stretches to its fullest length = end of life. The Elastic Band snapping back to its beginning point = beginning of life. We are supposed to recognize this theme in the lives of Cyborg Girl and Bi (Rain) character at the end of the movie.

4. The Wacko Policeman --- He is another example of the writer and director pointing a critical finger at the working world. In the movie, the policeman has changed because his job took over his life.

5. The Bandaid of Strength --- Throughout the movie, several characters give each other a bandaid that they claim gives strength and protection. Where they put the bandaid on themselves doesn't seem to be really important, except for at the end of the movie.

6. Love, Romantic --- The writer and director made a bold leap by exploring the idea of romance in an unusual place: the mental hospital. Where nothing can seem to break through the real world, or the girl's private cyborg world, or Bi's (Rain's) world of insignificance, love does. If you understand this, then the ending is quite powerful.

7. Love, Family --- This theme is explored in almost every Korean Movie. Guaranteed. Love and loyalty for one's family is important, but it must be doubly important to Koreans since it is emphasized so much. Here, we see the love and loyalty that Cyborg Girl has for her grandmother. We also see the lack of love and loyalty from her own mother. Bi (Rain) does not have love or loyalty from his parents either, especially, from his mother.

8. The Overpolite Man --- I'm not 100% sure, but the writer and director seem be using this character to point a finger at "politeness" in Korean society. While manners are good, excessive rules combined with the improper "humble" attitude obviously can lead to ... useless insignificance. To blame yourself for everyone's troubles does not solve problems. In this sense, "manners" are paying lipservice to what is really needed.

9. The Fat, Pretty Lady --- She seems to be used as a character to point at some of today's over-emphasis on being beautiful on the outside. But meanwhile she cannot discipline her own desires. They control her. She does not control them. (Food and flying)

10. Buried Items -- Both the Cyborg Girl and Bi (Rain) character bury an object in the ground that symbolizes the problem that is holding their life. But the act of burying that object shows us that a change has begun in both their lives. And so on. There are more themes, like with the doctors, the mice, lack of communication, etc.

The Ending: The end of the movie was not well done, because the viewers (you and I) are expecting something to be said directly about the bomb, lightning, and the end of the world. It's not your fault. The writer and director built up your expectations for that. They didn't deliver. Bad job on their part. Instead, they expect you to put your thinking cap on and tie all the themes together to understand the ending.

The ending is supposed to show us in a very quiet way the incredible power of love. Bi's (Rain's) character says that the pair of socks are not the only things that is wet. The long significant look between the two and the removal of the Bandaid of Strength/Protection from her mouth shows us that it's the kiss that he's referring to. In Cyborg Girl's world, the rules didn't allow her to love. In Bi (Rain's) character's world, he believed that he couldn't be loved. But to both of them, this love has now been allowed to enter their own worlds as something true. If we remember what the Elastic Pants man was always emphasizing, we can understand that the ending is not pointless, but full of hope. By burying their past (literally), and finding a trusting love from each other, they have a new beginning. Far from a nuclear bomb ending everything, love is really the power that signals the end of their old self and brings hope for a new beginning. Anyway, I hope this helps.

I think, therefore i am

a cool, refreshing day for thought and work. i'm halfway through with the US Foreign Policy analysis already. it's pretty amazing how much i can do in 2 hours, versus how much time i can sometimes waste by doing nothing at all. Yet i'm always grateful for this spurts of productivity; not just that i can finish the work on time, but also because it allows for my intellectualism to be organised and to be proven through the medium of words, sentences, paragraphs.

"For when you take up a pen and paper.. to commit your thoughts to the relative permanence of the tangible, your mind works to its fullest. Not merely exercising its function, you actually reveal its essence. The truth is, you never know so well what it is you think nad feel until you express it on the page. Make it live and breathe in words, sentences, paragraphs. in this way, writing is a uniquely human process of discovery."

from Lexean,
Issue 01.
a Singapore Publication with the creed:
"For the Man who believes in
The Power of the Words
The Merit of Morality
The Might of Virtue
One who is worldly in outlook
Asian at Heart & Proud to be Lexean"

Writing is a gift to me, because it unblocks arteries running through my soul.

it is a magical thing to unravel the mysteries of the individual self through the medium of writing, slowly peeling through the onion layers, slowly advancing in the maze of complexity, until you strip yourself of all pretense and ostentatiousness. Right at the core of it, i'm always delighted to realise how my existence can be represented through such sophisticated thinking and writing. The great philosopher said "I think, therefore I am" has packed more wisdom in these simple words that i had realised before.

The mystery of life is wonderous and well, mysterious. It's a curious sensation to know that one is alive, usually. It's not just the thinking-about-meself that unlocks who you are; it is the mere process of thinking and debating and writing that one realises how alive one is.

it is the same with good conversations. I always humbly admit that my oratory skills are not as developed as my writing skills. But times when i meet good conversationalists that i feel comfortable with, the demise of good conversation in Singapore's general climate becomes jarring and i become dissatisfied with the quality of conversations that i can have. I remember so vividly in the streets of Boston when an old man stopped Chris and me to talk about Heidegger and film. it shook me that it was a lazy regular day in summer at the crossroads of a quiet street, that a stranger would smile and stop to talk on a topic so different from the mundane and hurried conversation that i'm used to in sunny Singapore. The old man turned out to be a Philosophy major who graduated from Harvard years ago.

Consider the opening of a Lexean article from the same issue,

A conversation here is like a highway to a corner destination. The trip doesn't last long, the exits are clearly marked -- and taken quickly. From wedding dinner to corner coffeeshop, the tongue is now just another piece of cutlery, to work on food, but not for thought.

This is not the place to delve, to dally, to play and to probe, to dance and dart around an idea. You have a better chance of finding a white hair on the Chinese Politburo. When you call your friends, don't they ask you after 30s max:"what's up?"

Good conversation, as any dictionary will tell you, involves an exchange of ideas, even some debate. Or try this on for size, from James Hillman in We've had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy and The World is Getting Worse:

"Not just any talk is conversation; not any talk raises consciousness. Good conversation has an edge: it opens your eyes to something, quickens your ears. And good conversation reverberates... the next day, you find yourself still conversing with what was said. Your mind's been moved. You are at another level with your reflections "

Recently I'd been tired of listening to people mindlessly bashing the ruling party, Bush administration wrt to Iraq War etc with hearsay and what "everyone else knows"without making the effort to remunerate and critically think for oneself the issue in question. In such conversations i always sense an unwillingness, if not inability, to delve into the more difficult underlying tensions. The elusive and unsubstantiated bashings really serve more as small talk then conversation.

As i flipped through the issues of Lexean that i grabbed from outside the Central Library yesterday, my heart actually surged with a flicker of hope that the intellectual climate in Singapore would grow and even flourish in time to come. There are pretty neat articles on politics, economics, environment, gadgets and (gasp!) high end male fashion.

Obviously, the publication is sexist(read the creed again) and elitist (it costs a whooping $15.80) but it's good stuff. And i don't believe that only men are capable of thought, seriously. There are as many FHM spin-offs in newspaper stands as women gossip magazines. I will forgive the creed on basis that it's branding. And i will continue reading it.