i'm alive!

it hit me that living the eternal life means that my entire being is so exciting and different from the rest of the world. i'm constantly seeking God's will and God's way in every aspect of my life and the reality of it grounds me and gives me strength and joy even in the midst of the most arduous trials and journeys. I can learn so much about myself and my future one day, just talking and keeping the communication lines between me and God open. I'm seeking God for my calling although i think deep down i might still be scared to receive it. It's a trust issue at the root of it; whether i have enough faith to trust God that His calling for my life is the best for me. My mind knows the answer, but my heart has to be fortified to be made vulnerable. Sounds a little paradoxical huh. But i believe that Jesus has to fortify my heart with faith because i have so little of it.