the heaviness of sin weighs heavily upon my heart, and no doubt, it's the weight of the tears of the Holy Spirit within me although it is not my sin i bear. yet what a resemblance to the sinfulness that resides in my flesh, my common heritage from Adam and Eve. Sin is imbued in our DNA, each and every one of us. And when sin becomes so real, either committed or witnessed; it is so inescapable that sin grieves God because of His Spirit in me. And i realize that my values have been changed permanently and there is no way i can indulge in certain things or see sufferings that arise from our sinful and broken world without that righteous yet loving grief in my heart.
The first sin that the Lord confronted me in my walk with Him was a lie i told, a white lie that the world would call, but the Lord pressed His thumb upon me and i felt the sin causing my bones to waste away and my heart to melt away. For the first time, i cried because it was so clear to me how a little lie says so much about the evilness of my heart and how little i loved my dear friend. I cried out as David did in Psalm 32.
The sinfulness of my heart was again revealed when i found myself recoiling from loving a brother because i sensed he loved me with more than the love of a brother. Ostensibly not to stumble myself or him, it was really the discomfort in my heart i wanted to avoid. My sin was the judgement and rejection i allowed into my heart due to pride. yes, pride. My cardinal sin.
A sexual sin can cause so much heartache to a couple when they break up and tear apart their souls, but it can also hurt those relationships that come after. it isn't fair, it isn't kind, because sin is evil in itself. i see her wipe her tears when she's watching the telly, i think of the disappointment and anger she must feel and it just pains my heart. this world system allows, encourages, facilitates, celebrate fornication and every kind of "sexual freedom"; but fornication is a blatant flageration of God's command to His children, a gratification of the self and flesh that can hurt other people in one's life and hurt God's heart. I feel so grieved for this young couple, yet i see God working to answer my prayer that something might happen to draw each of them closer to God. if this is Your way of drawing them to Your unfailing love, Lord i pray that Your hand of protection will be there to guide these 2 young hearts and souls.