the restless jack of all ambitions speaks.

I can't decide if i hate my recent reticence in committing to any one thing more, or my older and as detestable 3-min enthusiasm that gets me up and running from one project to another without really completing anything i can call my own. I need some sort of focus and direction in life, a motivation that will direct all my energies in proper avenues that will bring forth satisfying results and fruit I can rest with. This restless energy that propels me to jump from one ship to another is making me unfruitful and stressed. not a very healthy state of being. the oscillation of wanting to do this, maybe not, oh well doesn't hurt to try, shucks! no commitment pls! is making me miserable. i feel as spineless as a wobbly jellyfish.