i'm starting to think that I am becoming the Rousseauian natural man who is by nature asocial and made corrupt when interacting with people and hence becoming ridden with amour propre, the love of the appropriate, over love of self amour de soi. i went out of the house today for my Contemporary Politics of Southeast Asia paper this evening and i felt like i didn't know who i was, relative to the larger reality outside of me. To quote Jian's sms after our paper: "OMG it's the Real World! It... Looks. So... Different." It just took me a while to figure out i had a self separate from the rest of the world. it's almost infantile and a little scary. It was good to interact with the yoshi-ians for a while before the paper and goof around with the Nav sailors more after my paper. I need a social life or i might wither. i might have to deal with my corruption but that's Real Life and i would like very much to be a real human beings dealing with real issues.
T called today and we talked for abit. He's nice and comfortable to talk to and be around with and i think we hit off quite well since we knew each other. He still owes me a date and reminds me periodically that one day it will come to pass. but anyways my threshold for conversation capped at 30mins. i think i'm becoming old.. but i think it's because i've acquired a distaste for long conversations unless i'm ready to go deep.. and there are only so many people i open up to.