NUS NAV is family. Bernard prayed a birthday blessing for Peter on Gala Dinner night and he said these words in his prayer (I paraphrase), “people always say that blood is thicker than water, but the spirit, the bonds that we share in Christ, is for all eternity”. It is in much agreement with this declaration that I participated in the NUS NAV Family Conference from 5-8 Dec 2008. I thank God constantly, for placing me in the NAV family for the past 3.5 years (and counting!). NUS NAV is family to me in a very literal sense; having received Christ 2 weeks before the start of university, NAV was where I learnt to utter my first prayer (with clumsy words of course), where I first learnt to do a bible study, where I first learnt to memorize Scripture, where I first understood the meaning of “fellowship” as more than food and fun, where I came to realize that a simple question posed like “how are you doing” is less of a nicety, but more of a sincere enquiry of my well being. For others in the ministry, NAV might not have been the first place where they took baby steps towards God, but I believe this is the place all of us found a genuine spiritual family that was not ridden with cliques and factions; rather, one where sinful but redeemed people came together in love and acceptance, despite our own struggles and brokenness.
Peter shared on the second day of the conference on ICEBERGS. Each of us, whether Christian or not, carry with us baggage; icebergs that look innocuous and presentable enough, but underneath the surface lurks layers and layers of unresolved issues, fears, pain, insecurities. Other people can only relate to us and see whatever little that surfaces. These different hidden layers underneath the water surface have resulted in modes of thinking and behavior that might not be conducive for our lives and relationships but we bring them with us wherever we go because they are pretty much a part of us. But God cares about our suppressed layers and is interested to help us break those layers to grant us true freedom in Christ. If only we are willing to be vulnerable and prepared for the brokenness that has to come before fruitfulness. In a loving community where God is the only reason we call each other “brother” or “sister”, I was allowed the space to make mistakes, to break down and share my deepest struggles, to grow closer to a loving God, to learn to pray and intercede instead of despair, to know my brothers and sisters as spiritual siblings and not just hi-bye acquaintances. There was discomfort, pain and tears in the breaking and molding, but much joy, love and peace in the restoring thereafter. God does not break us only once in our walk with Him however. The process was possible and bearable each time, only because I had family to see me through.
I really appreciate how the graduates came back to participate fully in this Family Conference; their mere presence communicated to me that this spiritual family is for eternity and all “barriers” to communication (age, gender, nationality etc) are imagined. It doesn’t matter if I was a year 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 etc. We are all related to a loving Father, redeemed by the blood of Christ, led by the Holy Spirit. Through their input and sharing, I gained new perspectives on who God is and what a community is. My ties in NAV are not going to expire after I graduated from the 4 years I spend in university. The prayers we utter for each other and the praise we give God in unison will ring for all eternity before the throne of God. The one definite commitment that I am making to God after this Family Conference is to continue to be part of this big family. (Hebrews 10:24-25)
But of course, NAV is not a perfect family, just as how our own natural families have their quibbles and difficulties. There might still be people in the ministry who feel that they are but outsiders looking in, who believe that their ICEBERGS are too shameful to be surfaced or that they cannot “click” with the family. There are still times when I feel like an outsider and struggle with meeting up with others or even coming for camps and retreats. But God has placed us here in this family for good reason. That in the occasional collision of icebergs manifested through conflicts with brothers and sisters, God can chisel away at the massive ice layers we each carry. That when God does deal with the hidden layers we are not alone, that we can pray for one another and allow others to pray for us. I’ve come to realize that people can only show me their love for me to the extent that I allow them to, and I can sense acceptance only to the extent that I am willing to be open and vulnerable with the spiritual family I have been placed in. We are a Grace Community because we learn to give grace to others, just as how God gave us (and is still giving) His grace, where we learn to receive grace from others so that we might receive grace from God, where we learn to trust others, that we might trust God. This commitment to community is more than warm feelings, but a conviction. I believe that what eventually emerges from God’s chiseling would be sparkling GEMS, the most perfect cut that God had in mind when He created each of us. It is my sincere prayer that God will continue to strengthen the ties in this loving spiritual family, that lives would be transformed and be set free in Christ, that we will continue to grow together to love as Christ did. (John 15:17)