hype.

the hyper freshmen jibes that envelope the campus every new academic year always disorientates me. the excitement and exuberance seems to an old soul rather like posturing and a tad unauthentic, as if everyone was working up to a frenzy to feel like they are in a clan-formation system. Perhaps it's the residue of orientation week? or the in-your-face hall culture, which i was never a part of. Maybe that's why it overwhelms me to the extent i feel the need to steer clear of these bustling crowds. I saw a few familiar silhouettes and faces, but only ventured to say "Hi" to those i feel i could skip the inauthenticity and be who i am. For other people, i was too tired to even make small talk, even when we were caught face-to-face. Alvin said i carry myself like a 25-year old, which i am pleased with, and have grown to like the me who will not be RA-RA for the sake of gaining attention or take up a conversation just to impress other people. i just wish i could feel more comfortable in a campus i've grown used to for the past 3 years and stop feeling like a jealous child with her territory encroached upon.