For the longest time i've wondered if the Big Pony Ralph Lauren Polo Tees that are all the rage now in Singapore were authentic or Thailand rip offs because it was jarring how everyone's logo's seemed to have expanded to epic proportions. After an angsty surf on the net, i've verified the existence of an ostentiatious-sized logo in an official RP vintage pic (shown above). Still, it doesn't negate the fact that i remain unaccustomed to the enormous logo that looks like it might come alive and charge at me any minute. i reserve further judgment on it, for fear that one day i might change my mind and think it tolerable.
What spurred off this mini investigation was the fact that Justin looked pretty fine in a pink RP (Big Pony, i stress) in class today. But more importantly, this new acquaintance this semester shed some light into my personal journey, despite having met him for a brief 5 weeks. At our first meeting, the prof assigned us to be buddiesand we ended up engaged in a long conversation about his exchange to Europe and all that he had seen in Budapest, film art, his aspirations to be a film maker one day, his critique of Eric Khoo etc. It was a comfortable sort of conversation that was more than superficial with a dose of sincerity and openness. Today he stopped by to chat during the break today; less conversation more small talk but i try not to beat myself up about needing to make meaningful conversation all the time.
It sparked off a dialogue with God a couple of hours ago, which i'll reorganize in part here.
Basically, looking at Justin now, i'm reminded of how different a person i'll be if i met him at 18. i'd have felt inadequate, yet completely wowed away by him as i throw caution to the winds. And i'd let pride and a shaky self-worth dictate the course of my affections. But now, fast forward to 3 years of pain and joy and plain walking forward, i am more secure in who i am, relative to the world, to other people. Having learnt to detach myself from my obstinate point of view that was habitually masochistic, i turned my focus outward to appreciate others without comparing my worth. I ask God to help me build strong platonic friendships with members of the opposite sex, that i might be free to be who i am, with more genuineness and sincerity.
Every improvement, a betterment of the past, but i dare not say that i have transcended all (or even any) of my blind spots or weakness. just bettered. i'm acutely aware of my "work-in-process" status; there is much to reach for, attain, and grasp. This is when i adore the forward-lookingness of the AC moto, "The best is yet to be". I fear that one day i might forget all these growing pains, and revert back to my worldly fears, escapism and self defeatism. God throws the same lessons at us in various guises over and over again till we recall and learn. I ask only, that i be worthy of all that i've attained, this calling that i've received by grace.
What spurred off this mini investigation was the fact that Justin looked pretty fine in a pink RP (Big Pony, i stress) in class today. But more importantly, this new acquaintance this semester shed some light into my personal journey, despite having met him for a brief 5 weeks. At our first meeting, the prof assigned us to be buddiesand we ended up engaged in a long conversation about his exchange to Europe and all that he had seen in Budapest, film art, his aspirations to be a film maker one day, his critique of Eric Khoo etc. It was a comfortable sort of conversation that was more than superficial with a dose of sincerity and openness. Today he stopped by to chat during the break today; less conversation more small talk but i try not to beat myself up about needing to make meaningful conversation all the time.
It sparked off a dialogue with God a couple of hours ago, which i'll reorganize in part here.
Basically, looking at Justin now, i'm reminded of how different a person i'll be if i met him at 18. i'd have felt inadequate, yet completely wowed away by him as i throw caution to the winds. And i'd let pride and a shaky self-worth dictate the course of my affections. But now, fast forward to 3 years of pain and joy and plain walking forward, i am more secure in who i am, relative to the world, to other people. Having learnt to detach myself from my obstinate point of view that was habitually masochistic, i turned my focus outward to appreciate others without comparing my worth. I ask God to help me build strong platonic friendships with members of the opposite sex, that i might be free to be who i am, with more genuineness and sincerity.
Every improvement, a betterment of the past, but i dare not say that i have transcended all (or even any) of my blind spots or weakness. just bettered. i'm acutely aware of my "work-in-process" status; there is much to reach for, attain, and grasp. This is when i adore the forward-lookingness of the AC moto, "The best is yet to be". I fear that one day i might forget all these growing pains, and revert back to my worldly fears, escapism and self defeatism. God throws the same lessons at us in various guises over and over again till we recall and learn. I ask only, that i be worthy of all that i've attained, this calling that i've received by grace.