it has been almost 2 months since i've waved singlehood goodbye.. and yet it feels a little uncertain, as my carefree heart continues to wander, drifting off once in a while. some days i have to consciously tell myself that there's someone else in my life that i should factor in when i make decisions and appointments. other days it seemed as if the world is my personal candy shop and i have nothing else in life to fight for. it's weird. now i understand why sappy love songs always harp on the theme of "is this really love" ever so often.
I have to say that not all is perfect, and it hasn't reached the point of being a stable relationship. in many ways it feels very compartmentalised, as if it's a separate part of my life from my friends and family and interests. i have been thinking alot, too much in fact, and bore considerable stress trying to figure out where this relationship is headed and whether it's a mistake and i should bail. fighting all the inner demons and insecurities. some days i really want to just give up.
yet when he holds my hand and i pray for us, i feel so safe and secure. I then see him for who he is. the solid rock of support that is ever constant.. and an awareness that God is watching over us.